Grindhouse (R) ****

Oh, baby! They're back and better than ever! Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have fashioned a double-barreled, action-packed spectacle in tribute to that trashiest of genres: The double-feature exploitation film. You know the genre: Where the gore is unfiltered, the sex is rampant, and the action is unbelievable.

In “Planet Terror,” Rodriguez casts a wide assortment of characters in a town overrun by zombies. He has a one-legged stripper (Rose McGowan), an ex-marine with pitch-perfect aiming (Freddy Rodríguez, no relation), a cook with a super-secret recipe (Jeff Fahey), his sheriff brother (Michael Biehn), the sheriff’s two deputies (Tom Savini and Carlos Gallardo), a doctor with a “prescription for pain” (Josh Brolin), the doctor’s wife with a pack of anesthetics she calls “her friends” (Marley Shelton), a hitchhiker (Stacy “Fergie“ Ferguson), a chemical weapons scientist (Naveen Andrews), and a colonel who’s smuggling said chemical weapons (Bruce Willis). Wow, what a mouthful. Of particular note, McGowan and Rodriquez have great chemistry, and it is great to see veterans like Biehn and Fahey back on the silver screen. Oh, yeah, you know how McGowan gets a gun for a leg? Well, let’s just say it is makes for one of the most kick-ass physically handicapped heroes in movie history!

In “Death Proof,” Kurt Russell is Stuntman Mike, a veteran stuntman from the days before movies went CG. He trails two groups of ladies: one group consisting of Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, and Rose McGowan (Again!); the other consisting of Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thoms, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Zoe Bell. Stuntman Mike bides his time, waits for the perfect moment, and then BAM: Rams his pitch-black car, complete with a skull & cross bone hood into the girls’ cars! The two groups of ladies are surprising well defined characters, which is no surprise from Tarantino, who gave plum roles and dialogue to women like Pam Grier and Uma Thurman. But what is a surprise is how he uses the conversations between the girls to fatten up the audience before Stuntman Mike and his “Death Proof” car strike. The movie plays like a slick remix of Steven Spielberg’s “Duel.”

Even the trailers are the stuff of delightful exploitation fun: In the beginning, we get Rodriguez’s "Machete," about a hit man (Danny Trejo) getting revenge on his double-crossing employer by shooting up stuff and sleeping with the employer’s wife and daughter! In between the main films, we get “Werewolf Women of the SS,” an obscure ode to the really bizarre Grindhouse films directed by Rob Zombie, and “Thanksgiving,” an overt and hilarious parody of slasher films set during holidays like “Halloween” and “April Fools Day.” There’s even one by “Shaun of the Dead” director Edgar Wright that is so funny and clever, I wouldn’t even dare tell you the title.

Now, a lot of critics have already taken a stand on which is the better film. Some say “Planet Terror,” a lot more say “Death Proof,” but for me, they both work great, but for different reasons.

“Planet Terror” works because the film is about a diverse mix of people, each with their own personal trials and tribulations, who get thrown into the mix together when zombies start tearing the city loose. Oh, yeah, it also helps that the action, from a zombie heading towards Doc Block with a motorized saw to El Wray taking out zombies with his sniper-gun and switch blade knifes, is as crazy and unbelievable as it gets!

“Death Proof” works because it is largely a character study about two groups of women who just happened to be chased by a murdering psychopath. If the women were just caricatures, this film would have totally imploded. Oh, yeah, the action in this film is lean, direct, and uncomplicated. What you see on the screen isn’t digitally created; it is made with old school movie magic. You know, the kind where you had to be clever and careful about what is put on the screen and not rely on a computer to dial in an action sequence.

If “Planet Terror” is a buffet, then “Death Proof” is a lean, mean steak. Both go great with soda and popcorn.

Blades of Glory (PG-13) ***1/2

Blades of Glory is sheer inspired silliness. Will Ferrell and Jon Heder are Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy, professional ice skating extordinares. Michaels is the shameless lustful slob and MacElroy is the primpy clean wuzz. In other words, they were made for each other.

When a fight over a gold win tie leads to their banishment from men's single skating, Michaels and Macaroy are forced to work together in the men's pair skating. Sure, there are the usual amount of gay jokes (the ackward facing of the crotch as shown in the trailer above), but the jokes are actually good (!) not because what they're doing looks gay, but because what they're doing is making them feel very... very... uncomfortable.

More than that, this film seems to be subverting the ice-skating scene from the ground up. Take the two montages of Michael's and MacElroy's history at the beginning of the film. Most sports shows like to recap a player's beginnings for dramatic reverence and effect. In this movie, the effect is decidedly comedic:

-MacElroy describes his beginnings as happy and ordinary; Cut to his 9 year-old self walking on a treadmill, breathing into a tube, monitored by 5 to 6 doctors.
-Michaels remarks how he's come far from being a drug dealer and criminal; Cut to his cover of the porno "The Iceman Cometh" with pornstars at his feet.

What really surprised me about this movie was Ferrell. Most of you already know him from SNL, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights, and are aware of his talents as a comedian, but in this movie, he rises high to new lows. Will Ferrell, the actor, has no shame, allowing his character, Chazz Michael Michaels, to have even less. When Michaels finishes flaunting his libido, he usually excuses himself by saying "I'm a sex addict" with little or no prompting. Chazz Michael Michaels reminded me a lot of "Bluto" from Animal House: He isn't a character, he's a force of nature. And we love him all the more for it.

Staring:
Will Ferrell : Chazz Michael Michaels
Jon Heder: Jimmy MacElroy
Will Arnett : Stranz Van Waldenberg
Amy Poehler: Fairchild Van Waldenberg
Jenna Fischer: Katie Van Waldenberg
Craig T. Nelson: Coach

In Theaters March 30th.

Happy Feet (PG) ****

“Happy Feet” is a fantastic film, filled with adventure, humor, heart, and an ample amount of toe tapping. Under the gentle direction of George Miller, the film soars with unique storytelling and excellent vocal performances by all (especially Williams, who does his best voice work since “Aladdin”). And the visuals! Oh! This film is a true cinematic marvel.

Starring:
Elijah Wood: Mumble
Brittany Murphy: Gloria
Hugh Jackman: Memphis
Nicole Kidman: Norma Jean
Hugo Weaving: Noah the Elder
Robin Williams: Ramon/Lovelace

Out on DVD, Blu-Ray, and HD-DVD March 27th.

300 (R) ****

Wow, what a film! “300” is the kind of film to get drunk on. King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) must take 300 soldiers to Thermopylae and defend Sparta from the onslaught of the Persian soldiers. That’s pretty much the skinny on the film’s plot. The rest is sound and fury, except, unlike Shakespeare’s famous words, “300” means something. It’s about defending one’s right to live on one’s own terms, not on anyone else’s. The visuals in “300” were what I expected “Sin City” to be: eye-popping, intense, transcendent, gripping. It’s hard to make visuals that are truly gripping. But 300 does that, and does it damn well.

Starring:
Gerard Butler: King Leonidas
Lena Headey: Queen Gorgo
David Wenham: Dilios
Dominic West: Theron
Rodrigo Santoro: Xerxes

In Theaters March 3rd.